A Story of Waiting

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope" - Alexandre Dumas Pere

Well... my wisdom must be freakin running to a low point. We wait, and wait, and hope for our new house to become a reality. Then wait some more.

We have moved again - because the cottage rental where we were is only availalble during the school year, and we found a three bedroom, two bathroom duplex that would take all of our pets. Knowing that even if our house sold, we wouldn't be able to build and move into a new home before summer, we had to leave. So on the coldest weekend in February (again) we moved. If you look back to last year in February, we also moved on the coldest weekend in 10 years to become a family again. Someone has a really bad sense of humor towards giving me crappy situations and frankly, I've about had it.

My anger towards life turned towards my knitting, and with a venegence I worked to get rid of every crappy old project that was weighing me down. Then I knit for myself. That luxury that knitters rarely bestow upon themselves was mine. My choice of yarn, my choice of pattern, and my attitude improved. UNTIL.... the next crappy situation. My mother-in-law having a near death experience. On Easter Sunday we were taken from our family gathering after visiting her in the hospital and realizing that things were not good. We returned to the hospital with the rest of the family to wait for her to die. There was no hope. We waited all afternoon, evening, and night. There was no hope. Her darkened hands and shallow breathing brought us all to tears, and then we were content and ready. We waited. In the morning she woke for a few minutes and gave us a precious gift of more time to talk to her. She said that she felt, "Great!" I watched as my daughters cried at her death bed, then had moments where they were able to have great talks with cousins who they hadn't seen in years. The kind of talk that seems only to happen around death in today's world.

By later morning, the doctor's proclaimed a miracle, and we reacted with anger, frustration, and sadness. My mother-in-law left us many years ago from the dementia brought on by two severe strokes. We were ready for her to leave, and happy that she would have died without having to have lived in a nursing home. Now that would not happen. We spent three days getting her things ready and moved her into her new home while her husband sobbed. He still cannot be convinced that he has not let her down. His COPD makes it impossible to take care of her now that she will not walk, eat, or toilet herself. She looked around the nursing home and told me, "This is a nice place......for the old people." Our hearts and spirits broke.

We try to drive the four hours one way each weekend to see her, visit with my father-in-law and my mother, and take care of the property that refuses to sell. We are going deeper and deeper into debt - two educators with Master's Degrees...working every extra school job we can get our hands on. The gas prices laugh at me as I drive past each station. Up $1.30 from a year ago... and four hours of driving now add up to an extra $40 on gas each weekend. I'm back to deciding how badly we need generic peanut butter each week. I'm tired of life giving me crap so that I can be a stronger person. I'm strong. And tired. Very, very tired. I give up.

My knitting sits and glares at me from the bag. Sandy's chemo caps that should have been done two weeks ago when her chemotherapy started are angry with me; they yell at me and add to my guilt. The stole that I wanted for my daughters' dances is frustrated to still be sitting on needles, and the yarn stash is planning a coup. I think they will run out of the house if it ever stops snowing or raining. You see, they are afraid of ruining their fibers in the bad weather...this is the only reason they stay.

Despite all of the bad things, I like my job - which may not last because I am a new hire and a referendum looming could mean the end of my job - and more importantly it could mean the loss of a decent education for many, many students as I would not be the only one to be let go. If this happens, I can only imagine how many part time jobs I would have to take to be able to buy the generic brand of toilet paper that I know we MUST have each week.

So, I would like to give my yarn stash a little message. Run. Fast. Get out while you still have a chance and get as far away from my house as is yarnily possible because you know things are bad, and I know that even with patience and hope, they are not about to get better any time soon.

But I have no choice. I will have to continue to wait. And hope. If I can.

Christmas Snow

Christmas as a kid meant two things. No school and snow. This year is finally providing us with both. It seems like this is the first year since I was a child where the snow banks are up to my waist. And my waist is a little higher now compared to when I was 9 years old!

The snow came as a surprise. Well, sort of a surprise. We were celebrating with our family “down south” and new that our new home “up north” was getting a snow storm. We drove back north on the 26th at night. Every 15 miles farther we drove, it was clear that there was more and more snow. The banks on the sides of the highway, even in dark, were piled high. As we drove through lit communities we could see the piles in parking lots grow taller and taller. Then, for the final twenty minutes, it became incredible. There must have been 15 inches on the ground, and true to Northwoods fashion, the roads were clear. These guys work miracles!

We unpacked, went to bed, and woke up to the reality of the storm.

That branch is normally above our heads, but with the weight of the snow it has now drooped, like all of the trees have.

Beautiful. And yes, at least 15 inches of snow on the ground, with more to come.

Anna has been playing with her Christmas sled on the driveway, and both Alicia and Anna have been ice-fishing on the lake with their father and a friend. Unfortunately, no fish.

My Christmas knitting is still in progress. I finished a pair of felted clogs in three days to give to my mother. Note to self…. To get them to dry more quickly, put them on the heat registers and they will be dry in two days instead of three! My mother wore them on Christmas night and was as pleased as punch. She was the first person to wear out the original pair given a few years ago. I used a Plymouth paint yarn in purples, blues and greens, and then a matching green for the cuff and sole. Yummy! They were a hit! Now I need to finish the stole that was supposed to be a birthday present to my mother a year ago. Then, on to finish a pair of socks for DH and then mittens and a hat for Anna. After that I am free! Free to make a scarf for myself from my birthday yarn! More to come on that later.

The Perfect Weekend

Finally, a weekend that seems to be going my way! Our new life “up north” means a 3 ½ hour drive every Friday to go to our home “down south” and take care of our house and my in-laws. While it is exhausting, it feels good being able to help them out.

Once a month we stay up north, usually because of something our girls are involved in. This weekend was the weekend to stay in November. My youngest had her first swim meet here and we weren’t sure how long it would go. Turns out that I also hit the jackpot because Sunday was the opening of women’s college basketball, it was declared International Pajama Day, and???? Are you ready??? I was invited to RAVELRY!!!

Here’s how the day looked from my vantage point…



Heaven…

The girls have adjusted to the move here pretty well. DH loves being able to stay in the job that he loves, and I really like my new school. We have purchased land to build on and have the house plans all ready to go… just waiting for the house to sell in Valders.

To end the perfect day, my daughter and I had a hot beverage..



What a great weekend!

Happy Birthday...um... to me!

Yesterday I celebrated 38 years of living by spending time watching my children play soccer and volleyball. Then we made our 3 1/2 hour jaunt to our "old home" as we do every weekend.

My mother came "up north" with us to stay the week, and it was a wonderful visit with her. As we drove home, my mother told me about her memories of the day I was born. After finishing supper that night, she began to feel some contractions and called the doctor. She was told to get herself to the hospital. Being the kind of person who tries to plan ahead, she called her mother, my grandmother, who was in the hospital due to an illness to see if she needed anything.

"Yarn," my grandmother told her, meaning that she needed some skeins wound to continue working on her project. My mother checked into the hospital, and then promptly went to visit her own mother. As the contractions became stronger and stronger, my mother continued to hold up her hands wrapped with yarn, so that my grandmother could wind the skein she needed into a ball. My mother was never a knitter, and everyone tells me that I inherited my love of knitting from my grandmother.

This is how I was greeted into the world, a knitter from birth.

I Won't Do That Again

Very quick... very short.

I opened a new email account at our new home, and couldn't get onto Blogger because the old email address had expired.

It took me way too long to straighten that out!

We are in the process of moving (kind of) and setting up our new lives in Minocqua. The old house is almost ready to show (if we can ever agree on a carpet installation price with the company) and we now own land up north.

Lots of great knitting things have been happening in between, believe it or not!

Pictures to come.

Settling

I’m getting ready for our trip this summer. We are off to Germany, again. We went a few years ago for a cousin’s wedding, and now the younger brother is getting married so we will go again. I’ve been working on this…






Their wedding afghan. It’s turning out even more beautiful than I had hoped… and the color is a grayish blue that borders on a neutral tone. It’s wonderful. I spent Mother’s Day recovering from bronchitis and laryngitis… knitting and spinning in front of a fireplace and watching movies. Then I was taken out to eat. Fabulous!

Oh, and I got a job. My current job contract ends in a few weeks and they hadn’t given me a contract for next year, so I applied at another district and we can now officially call the Northwoods of Wisconsin our permanent home. Well, we can… once we sell our old home and buy one here.

Finally.. PICTURES!

Well here they are… finally… as promised.

After a week, things have changed so much that most of the snow is gone, the ice on the lake is starting to seriously melt, but I dream of putting my canoe in here even more than usual.


When I get the chance… and have the ambition... this is what my spinning is looking like. With a nice fire and a clean house – you would think that I would be spinning my heart out, but I still can’t bring myself to do much of anything. When this is done, it will be a shawl for my mother for her birthday which was, yes WAS... in January. She keeps bugging me and saying that she hasn’t seen any patterns to pick from yet. Oops!

Here is another picture of my new home.. well temporary new home. I wish that I could keep the lake!